Attendee Testimonials

“I love being my student’s go-to-person – talking with them as they launch their professional visitation monitoring careers, corresponding with them by email and meeting them in person at a live training session.” – Tamara L. Daniel, Business Owner, Professional Development Trainer

 “I obtained my professional monitor training from Tamara Daniels of Supervised Child Visits (SCV) in December 2013, which was one of the best decisions of my career. Since that time, I have worked consistently, currently have three clients, and have received referrals directly from local family practice attorneys.” I would highly recommend Supervised Child Visits for anyone seeking a rewarding career as a professional supervised visitation monitor.” –L. Mcgown

 

“Hi Tamara,

This is Itai and I took your class last year and finally  started the business in December  and I have had 1 steady client since then and it has been going very well and been extremely beneficial  financially to my family. I still work full time as a Special Education teacher in east Salinas but doing both jobs has been easier than I once thought. Thank you for all of your insight and training that made this possible.”

 

“Hello Ms. Tamara, update on this case, the attorney for the NCP wanted to see all documents and I did get the NCP to complete and sign the documents for the attorney’s. The exchange takes place at the sheriff’s station, four hour weekly visit which include one hour at the library for home work which is directly across from the sheriff’s station and the balance of time at park or Chuck E Cheese, etc. (10 yr. old boy)The attorney said it was an unusual case but all is well.” –J Pete.

 

Why do you want to become a visitation monitor? “To help my husband. He trained with you 2 years ago and he has 5 clients now and scheduling with just 1 Monitor is getting very difficult. I want to help where I can so we can continue to grow.” –L Retig.

 

“I have had three clients since your August 2014. One on Sundays for three hours, another on Monday for 2 hours, and another for 2 hours on Tuesday. Business, life, and God have been good to me. Thank you for everything :)” — Bree S.

 “Hello from San Diego. I finally got started after getting my son off to college and managing a full-time job and now I have 2 clients; one of them is 10 hours a week. WOW!” — Zanna S

“I just want to say, Thank You, Ms. Tamara Daniels for encouraging me to take your training class. I feel I have found my niche. Your training was exceptional and your system really works if you just follow the steps you provided us with. I took your class in August 2014 and have received many inquiries. I have 2 solid clients and 3 additional in the process. Thank you so much.” –Kathy A.

“Thank you for an amazing class! What could have been a boring and tedious process was made interesting mixed in with some levity.” –Teri Rappaport

Facts about Sex Offenders

 

As Professional Supervised Visitation Providers we must stay knowledgeable, informed and current regarding threats to personal safety and security–be it in our professions or private lives.

Let us see how much we know-and see how much of what we think has been based on the myths we have all heard about sexual assault and sex offenders.

Most men who commit sexual offenses do not know their victim. False. 90% of child victims know their offender, with almost half of the offenders being a family member. Of sexual assaults against people age 12 and up, approximately 80% of the victims know the offender.

Most sexual assaults are committed by someone of the same race as the victim. True. Most sexual assaults are committed by someone of the same race as the victim. An exception to this is that people who commit sexual assault against Native Americans are usually not Native American (American Indians and Crime, 1999).

Most child sexual abusers use physical force or threat to gain compliance from their victims. False. In the majority of cases, abusers gain access to their victims through deception and enticement, seldom using force. Abuse typically occurs within a long-term, ongoing relationship between the offender and victim and escalates over time.

Most child sexual abusers find their victims by frequenting such places as schoolyards and playgrounds. False. Most child sexual abusers offend against children whom they know and with whom they have established a relationship. Many sexual assaults of adult women are considered “confidence rapes,” in that the offender knows the victim and has used that familiarity to gain access to her.

Only men commit sexual assault. False. While most sex offenders are male, sometimes sex offenses are committed by female offenders.

Child sexual abusers are only attracted to children and are not capable of appropriate sexual relationships. False. While there is a small subset of child sexual abusers who are exclusively attracted to children, the majority of the individuals who sexually abuse children are (or have previously been) attracted to adults.

Victims of sexual assault are harmed only when offenders use force. False. More than any physical injuries the victim sustains, the violation of trust that accompanies most sexual assaults has been shown to dramatically increase the level of trauma the victim suffers. Emotional and psychological injuries cause harm that can last much longer than physical wounds.

If a child does not tell anyone about the abuse, it is because he or she must have consented to it. False. Children often do not tell for a variety of reasons including the offender’s threats to hurt or kill someone the victim loves, as well as shame, embarrassment, wanting to protect the offender, feelings for the offender, fear of being held responsible or being punished, fear of being disbelieved, and fear of losing the offender who may be very important to the child or the child’s family.

It is common for both child and adult victims of sexual assault to wait some time before telling someone about the abuse. True. It is common for victims of sexual assault to wait some time before telling someone. When the person was assaulted as a child, he or she may wait years or decades. The reasons for this are numerous: victims may want to deny the fact that someone they trusted could do this to them; they may want to just put it behind them; they may believe the myth that they caused the assault by their behavior; or they may fear how other people will react to the truth.

If someone sexually assaults an adult, he will not target children as victims, and if someone sexually assaults a child, he will not target adults. False. Research and anecdotal evidence indicate that while some sex offenders choose only one type of victim (e.g., prepubescent girls, post-pubescent boys, adult women, etc.), others prey on different types of victims. Therefore, no assumptions should be made about an offender’s victim preference and precautions should be taken regardless of his crime of conviction.

It helps the victim to talk about the abuse. True. The victim’s recovery will be enhanced if she or he feels believed, supported, protected, and receives counseling following the disclosure that s/he was assaulted. However, sexual assault victims should always have the choice about when, with whom, and under what conditions they wish to discuss their experiences.

Sexual gratification is often not a primary motivation for a rape offender. True. While some offenders do seek sexual gratification from the act, sexual gratification is often not a primary motivation for a rape offender. Power, control, and anger are more likely to be the primary motivators.

Offenders could stop their sexually violent behavior on their own if they wanted to. False. Wanting to change is usually not enough to be able to change the patterns that lead to sexual offenses. To create the motivation to change, some offenders need a variety of treatment and corrective interventions, and for others learning how to make the change in their own behavioral cycle of abuse is more effective.

Men who rape do so because they cannot find a consenting sexual partner. False. Studies suggest that most rape offenders are married or in consenting relationships.

Drugs and alcohol cause sexual offenses to occur. False. While drugs and alcohol are often involved in sexual assaults, drugs and alcohol do not cause sexual offenses to occur. Rather, drug and alcohol use may be a disinhibitor for the offender, while being under the influence may increase a potential victim’s vulnerability.

Victims of sexual assault often share some blame for the assault. False. Adult and child victims of sexual abuse are never to blame for the assault, regardless of their behavior. Because of the age difference, children are unable to legally consent to sexual acts. They are often made to feel like willing participants, which further contributes to their shame and guilt.

If a victim does not say “no” or does not “fight back,” it is not sexual assault. False. Sexual assault victims may not say “no” or not fight back for a variety of reasons including fear and confusion. Rape victims often report being “frozen” by fear during the assault, making them unable to fight back; other victims may not actively resist for fear of angering the assailant and causing him to use more force in the assault. Pressure to be liked and not be talked about negatively by a peer will sometimes cause adolescents or children to avoid fighting back or actively resisting.

 

Responding to an Allegation of Suspected Child Abuse

 

Procedures for Mandated Reporting of Any Allegation of Abuse or Neglect of a Minor

 

LISTEN:  First and foremost, listen compassionately, validate the courage of the person making the report, and apologize for any pain the reporting person is feeling.

GET BASICS:  Name(s), address(es), phone numbers (s) of the victim, the alleged perpetrator, the person making the Report and witnesses (if available). Refer to the “Suspected Child Abuse Report” form. Do not investigate the incident.

CALL IMMEDIATELY:     

Los Angeles County Child Abuse Hot Line:  800-500-4000

Santa Barbara County Child Abuse Hot Line:  800-367-0166

Ventura County Child Abuse Hot Line:   800-754-7600

Victims Assistance Ministry Office:   213-637-7650

OR contact the local police station.

For Hearing Impaired:   TDD 800-272-6699
 

When you call in the Report ask for the name and phone number of the person taking the Report, any case number and the address for mailing the written Report.  

CONSIDER:  Asking the person or persons making the allegations to join you when you call in the Report. If the reporting person is an adult, encourage him or her to also report the allegation directly.

DOCUMENT: After making the Report by telephone, complete wither a paper copy of the “Suspected Child Abuse Report” or file it electronically at https://mandreptla.org/on-lineRep.htm                                               

If you use the paper copy, mail it to the address you receive fro the person you called to make the Report. This must be done within 36 hours of your call. If the Hot Line or Police declines to take the Report over the phone, ask for the name and badge number of the person to whom you are speaking. Write this information, along with the note “declined to take the Report” and the date and time of the call, on the Report form. Keep a copy for your records and FAX a copy of the Report to the appropriate fax number.

OUTREACH:  Call the Child Abuse Hotline in your area for information on counseling and other outreach to the victims(s) and the reporting person(s).

CONCLUDE:  Offer reassurance, hope and continued support.

CHILD ABUSE FORM:    A copy of Form SS 8572 (revised 12/02)— Suspected Child Abuse Report” is available at      http://ag.ca.gov/childabuse/forms.php

DOCUMENT:  Mandate reporting is required where the victim is a current minor. If the victim is not a current minor, obtain all the information outlined above and contact local law enforcement to make a non-mandated report and to arrange for outreach.

Child Abuse: Frequently Asked Questions

 

  1. How can I help prevent child abuse? There are several things you can do about it. Learn more about child abuse and how it is treated. Don’t ignore child abuse, REPORT IT! Be supportive and helpful to families having problems. If you or your family need help coping with children, ask for it. Social service agencies are there to help you. To report child abuse or neglect in Los Angeles County, call the Child Abuse Hot Line at 1-800-540-4000 (California).
  2. What is child abuse? It is repeated mistreatment or neglect of a child by parent(s) or other guardian resulting in injury or harm. Under California Law, child abuse is a crime. Children need protection because they are vulnerable and often unable to speak for themselves. The California Child Abuse Reporting Law, along with other state laws, provides the legal basis for action to protect children and allow intervention by public agencies if a child is maltreated.

 

  1. What is the difference between discipline and abuse? Discipline is designed to help children control and change their behavior. Its purpose is to encourage moral, physical and intellectual development and a sense of responsibility in children. Ultimately, older children will do the right thing, not because they fear external reprisal, but because they have internalized a standard initially presented by parents and other caretakers, and children gain self-confidence and a positive self-image. Abuse is characterized by its orientation toward satisfying needs or expressing the negative feelings of parents or other caregivers. While it may result in positively changing the child’s behavior, often the improvement is temporary and followed by a later acting out of the hatred, revenge and hostility they have learned from their parents. To avoid further abuse, children may lie, run away or exhibit other forms of avoiding responsibility. Abuse tends to damage the self-esteem of both parents and the children. Safe, effective discipline is a correction given in love. In evaluating methods of guiding their children’s behavior, parents or guardians need to ask themselves: Is the discipline; * carefully related to the offense? * administered in the calmness of conviction rather than in the heat of anger? * fair, weighing heavily in consideration of the child occasional, and of brief duration? * free from physical violence (e.g., look of reproach, scolding or the taking away of a valued privilege)?

 

  1. What are the common signs of child abuse?

REPEATED INJURIES: Bruises, welts, burns. Parents may seem unconcerned, deny that anything is wrong, or give unlikely explanations for the injuries.

NEGLECTED APPEARANCE: Children often are badly nourished, inadequately clothed, are left alone or are wandering at all hours, always seem as if nobody cares. (Sometimes over-neatness may be a sign of abuse.)

DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR: Very aggressive, negative behavior constantly repeated can signal a desperate need for attention and help.

PASSIVE WITHDRAWN BEHAVIOR: When children are excessively shy and friendless, it may indicate that there are serious problems at home.

PARENTS WHO ARE “SUPER-CRITICAL”: Parents who discipline their children frequently and severely may begin to abuse them when their unrealistic standards are not met.

FAMILIES THAT ARE EXTREMELY ISOLATED: Parents who don’t share in school or community activities and resent friendly contacts may be distrustful of people, afraid of their help. Use caution and good sense in identifying child abuse. Every parents makes errors in judgment and action at some time but when it becomes plain that there is a pattern or it is becoming one, then it’s time for help. 

  1. What will happen to me if I make a report? (Verbally report ASAP: written within 36 hours) Anyone who reports known or suspected child abuse is protected by law from civil or criminal liability unless it can be proven that the report was false and that the person who made the report knew it was false. Any person, except a mandated reporter who reports child abuse may remain anonymous. Mandated reporters are required to give their names. However, it is helpful to give your name and telephone number to the worker taking the report in the event he or she needs to obtain more information later. 
  2. Why should I report child abuse? All children have the right to grow up in a safe environment. Child abuse, in all its forms, has a more lasting and negative effect on children, families and the whole community than most people realize. At its worst, its destructive impact haunts its victim throughout life and prevents the child from becoming a productive adult. Frequently, parents who were mistreated as children will mistreat their own children. The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect reports that more than 2,000 children die each year due to abuse or neglect. Reporting child abuse is a first step in stopping this devastating cycle. People who hurt children usually need help to change their behavior. Many, perhaps most, only get that help after someone else calls attention to the fact that they need it by reporting their abuse of a child.
  3. How do l know when to report child abuse? Reporting should be done when a person either knows or has a “reasonable suspicion” that a child has been or is in danger of abuse or neglect. “Reasonable suspicion” means that most people, given the same facts and information, would suspect child abuse. Hard proof is not needed to make a report. However, reports must be in good faith. Use common sense. A report of child abuse is serious and may have a lifelong impact on the child and his or her family. Never make a false or malicious report. __________________________________

 

*For more information: Dcfs.co.la.ca.us

Behaviors of Batterers That May Impact Visitation

Behaviors of Batterers That May Impact Visitation

If, after conducting an intake, the Provider accepts a referral for visitation in a domestic violence case, it is important to identify behaviors that may subsequently impact visitation. It is critical to keep in mind that the goal of providing supervised visitation services, including Provider exchanges, is to provide a safe, neutral setting for parent-child access. If this cannot be accomplished, the visitation provider or program must not accept the referral.

The following are behaviors sometimes used by batters that may affect a program’s ability to provide safe visitation:

  • Threats of violence toward the victim. This may include verbal abuse as well as attempted or actual physical assault
  • Threats of violence toward children. This may include verbal abuse, threats, attempted or actual physical abuse, kidnapping
  • Using visitation to send messages to the victim through the children
  • Stalking the victim and children upon arriving or departing from visitation program. This can be done in person or through a third party family member or friend
  • Intimidating children to reveal their current living arrangement, their custodial parent’s activities, their phone numbers
  • Testing or violating staff or volunteers
  • Intimidating visitation staff or volunteers
  • Pitting one staff member against another to encourage divisiveness
  • Requesting “special” privileges, such as unsupervised time with children
  • Denial or minimization of abusive behavior (“It’s all a misunderstanding.”)
  • Blaming other parent for necessity of having to use visitation services
  • Attempting to bring weapons (guns, knives, etc.) into program
  • Threats or attempts to commit suicide

Remember, safety belongs first to the visitation provider (monitor). If the provider is not safe, he or she cannot keep the child(ren) safe. When considering whether or not to accept a visitation referral, remember this quote, “All money is not safe money.” –Tamara L. Daniels

Understanding the Victim of Domestic Violence

Understanding the Victim of Domestic Violence

It is important for visit Providers to have an understanding of common victim characteristics and behaviors in order to be able to effectively facilitate visits:

  • Domestic violence victims can be found in all age ranges, in all racial/ethnic backgrounds, and in all socioeconomic, educational, occupational, and religious groups.
  • Some, but not all, of domestic violence victims have been abused as children or in previous adult relationships.
  • As part of their abuse experience, many victims have become isolated from friends, families, or their normal activities because of their perpetrator’s controlling behavior.
  • Victims of domestic violence experience traumatic effects from their experience including:
  • denial or minimization of the abuse;
  • hyper vigilance/suspiciousness;
  • anxiety;
  • difficulty concentrating;
  • shame;
  • substance abuse to self-medicate;
  • low self-esteem;
  • numbing or depression;
  • anger; and
  • impaired functioning in occupational, social, and parental roles.

These emotional reactions are normal, but they may result in a visit Provider mistakenly assuming it is the victim’s fault – instead of the perpetrator’s fault – that visitation is ordered. Understanding that these victim reactions are common will prevent visit Providers from inaccurately assigning psycho- pathological labels to the victim, such as “she’s crazy,” “she’s hysterical,” etc.

Victims of domestic violence engage in a variety of strategies to escape abuse:

  • Legal methods such as obtaining injunctions, requesting orders for supervised visitation/Provider exchanges, calling law enforcement, proceeding with prosecution of perpetrator, or seeking separation or divorce.
  • Formal requests for help from social service agencies, religious, domestic violence shelters, or other groups, including supervised visitation programs.
  • Escaping to a domestic violence shelter or relocating.
  • Using various methods of self-defense.

Because of the perpetrator’s undermining of the victim and the resulting decreased parenting capacity, some mothers who are in domestic violence relationships are at risk of harming or neglecting their children. Research suggests that by keeping abused mothers safe, children’s safety can be increased.

 

“WOW Facts” of Domestic Violence

 

  • In a national survey of more than 6,000 families in the United States, half of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.

 

  • Long-term exposure to battering can result in delinquency, higher rates of substance abuse, propensity to use or tolerate violence in future relationships, and a pessimistic view of the world.

 

  • Short-term effects of children’s exposure to domestic violence can include post-traumatic stress disorder, sleep disturbances, separation anxiety, aggression, passivity, or desensitization to violent events.

 

  • Eighty-five percent of assaults on spouses or ex-spouses are committed by men against women with an estimated 3.3 million children exposed nationally to violence by family members against their mothers or caretakers each year.

 

  • At least 75% of children whose mothers are battered witness the violence.

 

  • In one study, forty-seven percent (47%) of homeless parents reported a history of domestic violence and one in four stated that a primary reason they sought shelter was domestic violence.

 

  • It is estimated that there are 1.35 million homeless children in the US; nearly half of these are under the age of 5.
  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

 

  • Ninety-two percent (92%) of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.
  • 63% of all boys who commit murder kill the man who was abusing their mother.

 

Developed by Violence Against Women Online.

 

http://supervisedchildvisits.com/1114/

7 Highly Effective Principles for Every Successful Business©

 

Business Principle #1: Go to the Top of Your Field With Straight F’s; Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness and Fun—Dave Brown. There is order in every successful business. Keep first things first and the main thing the main thing. Maintaining order opens the pathway to all levels of success.

 

Business Principle #2: You have not because you ask not.  Honor the power of asking. Ask for prosperity, growth, wisdom and expansion in your marketplace. Ask and it shall be given unto you.

 

Business Principle #3: If you have to think about it twice don’t do it once. Place value on inner warnings and caution signs during the process of business deals. They are there to protect, not reject.

 

Business Principle #4: Refuse to fear. Refuse to worry. Refuse to be discouraged. These side affects are deadly to business. When they appear immediately swallow the anecdote: faith, confidence and courage.

 

Business Principle #5: Grow professionally and personally and increase in knowledge and in wisdom. Learn all that you can. Teach what you know. Respect the benefits of ‘application’. The door to learning and understanding must never shut.

 

Business Principle #6: Bad agreements corrupt good business. Avoid entering into agreements for money sake alone. Not all agreements are good agreements. Investigate the character and test the motives of the person offering the opportunity. The health of your business may depend on it.

 

Business Principle #7: Whatever you do, do it all unto the Glory of God. In my humble belief, all good things come from above. Acknowledging the giver of good things is the one principle that will guarantee the success of your business.

 

Facts & Figures

In 2013, an estimated 1,163,146 violent crimes occurred nationwide, a decrease of 4.4 percent from the 2012 estimate.

• When considering 5- and 10-year trends, the 2013 estimated violent crime total was 12.3 percent below the 2009 level and 14.5 percent below the 2004 level.

• There were an estimated 367.9 violent crimes per 100,000 inhabitants in 2013, a rate that declined 5.1 percent when compared with the 2012 estimated rate.

* Aggravated assaults accounted for 62.3 percent of violent crimes reported to law enforcement in 2013. Robbery offenses accounted for 29.7 percent of violent crime offenses; rape (legacy definition) accounted for 6.9 percent; and murder accounted for 1.2 percent.

* Information collected regarding types of weapons used in violent crime showed that firearms were used in 69.0 percent of the nation’s murders, 40.0 percent of robberies, and 21.6 percent of aggravated assaults. (Weapons data are not collected for rape.)

U.S. Department of Justice—Federal Bureau of Investigation
Released Fall 2014

April Is National Child Abuse Month

One thing that many people do not know about abused children is that they often love the person who is hurting them. This is very hard to believe but it is true. This happens because the person who is abusing them is often someone they know well and trust a lot. Children are therefore hesitant to reveal that they are being abused because they fear that they will get the person into trouble if they do so. Another reason for children not wanting to disclose abuse is that many times they have been frightened or threatened by the abuser.

The children in your care love and trust you. A child who has been abused may start talking to you about it. He may do so because he trusts you and wants to share the burden he is carrying with you. Hearing a child talking about being abused is very difficult. You may react in different ways. Your reaction is very important to the child. If you react with disgust or don’t believe what he is saying, he may stop talking to you about it. He will feel that you don’t trust him. This will prevent him from getting help. It also prevents the abuse from stopping.

Be very sensitive and listen carefully when a child is talking to you about abuse. Keep in mind that it is very difficult for the child to talk about being abused. This is especially hard for children who have been sexually abused. The child has gathered up all her courage to tell you about the abuse. How you handle the conversation will determine how you will be able to help the child.

What Should I Do If I Suspect Child Abuse?

Answer

All States have a system to receive and respond to reports of suspected child abuse and neglect. If you suspect a child is being harmed, or has been harmed, you should report your concerns to the appropriate authorities, such as child protective services (CPS), in the State where the child resides. Each State has trained professionals who can evaluate the situation and determine whether help and services are needed. Most States have a toll-free number to call to report suspected child abuse and neglect. Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children’s Bureau, Administration for Children and Families (ACF), provides a list of  State child abuse and neglect reporting numbers and information on how to make a report in each State.

Can I Make An Anonymous Report of Abuse?

Answer

Many states accept anonymous reports of alleged child abuse and neglect. It is important to note, however, that all states are required to preserve the confidentiality of all child maltreatment reports, except in certain limited circumstances: see Disclosure of Confidential Records at: http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/confide… Confidentiality refers to protecting the information from public view, including protecting the identity of the reporter from the person suspected of abuse or neglect.

Reporting suspected child abuse and neglect is everyone’s responsibility. If you have any concerns about the treatment of a child, you should contact the appropriate authorities in the state in which the child resides. Each state has trained professionals who can evaluate the situation and determine whether intervention and services are needed. Most states have a toll-free number to call to report suspected abuse. Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children’s Bureau, provides a related organization list of state child abuse reporting numbers:  https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:….