Behaviors of Batterers That May Impact Visitation
If, after conducting an intake, the Provider accepts a referral for visitation in a domestic violence case, it is important to identify behaviors that may subsequently impact visitation. It is critical to keep in mind that the goal of providing supervised visitation services, including Provider exchanges, is to provide a safe, neutral setting for parent-child access. If this cannot be accomplished, the visitation provider or program must not accept the referral.
The following are behaviors sometimes used by batters that may affect a program’s ability to provide safe visitation:
- Threats of violence toward the victim. This may include verbal abuse as well as attempted or actual physical assault
- Threats of violence toward children. This may include verbal abuse, threats, attempted or actual physical abuse, kidnapping
- Using visitation to send messages to the victim through the children
- Stalking the victim and children upon arriving or departing from visitation program. This can be done in person or through a third party family member or friend
- Intimidating children to reveal their current living arrangement, their custodial parent’s activities, their phone numbers
- Testing or violating staff or volunteers
- Intimidating visitation staff or volunteers
- Pitting one staff member against another to encourage divisiveness
- Requesting “special” privileges, such as unsupervised time with children
- Denial or minimization of abusive behavior (“It’s all a misunderstanding.”)
- Blaming other parent for necessity of having to use visitation services
- Attempting to bring weapons (guns, knives, etc.) into program
- Threats or attempts to commit suicide
Remember, safety belongs first to the visitation provider (monitor). If the provider is not safe, he or she cannot keep the child(ren) safe. When considering whether or not to accept a visitation referral, remember this quote, “All money is not safe money.” –Tamara L. Daniels
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