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Understanding the Victim of Domestic Violence

Understanding the Victim of Domestic Violence

It is important for visit Providers to have an understanding of common victim characteristics and behaviors in order to be able to effectively facilitate visits:

  • Domestic violence victims can be found in all age ranges, in all racial/ethnic backgrounds, and in all socioeconomic, educational, occupational, and religious groups.
  • Some, but not all, of domestic violence victims have been abused as children or in previous adult relationships.
  • As part of their abuse experience, many victims have become isolated from friends, families, or their normal activities because of their perpetrator’s controlling behavior.
  • Victims of domestic violence experience traumatic effects from their experience including:
  • denial or minimization of the abuse;
  • hyper vigilance/suspiciousness;
  • anxiety;
  • difficulty concentrating;
  • shame;
  • substance abuse to self-medicate;
  • low self-esteem;
  • numbing or depression;
  • anger; and
  • impaired functioning in occupational, social, and parental roles.

These emotional reactions are normal, but they may result in a visit Provider mistakenly assuming it is the victim’s fault – instead of the perpetrator’s fault – that visitation is ordered. Understanding that these victim reactions are common will prevent visit Providers from inaccurately assigning psycho- pathological labels to the victim, such as “she’s crazy,” “she’s hysterical,” etc.

Victims of domestic violence engage in a variety of strategies to escape abuse:

  • Legal methods such as obtaining injunctions, requesting orders for supervised visitation/Provider exchanges, calling law enforcement, proceeding with prosecution of perpetrator, or seeking separation or divorce.
  • Formal requests for help from social service agencies, religious, domestic violence shelters, or other groups, including supervised visitation programs.
  • Escaping to a domestic violence shelter or relocating.
  • Using various methods of self-defense.

Because of the perpetrator’s undermining of the victim and the resulting decreased parenting capacity, some mothers who are in domestic violence relationships are at risk of harming or neglecting their children. Research suggests that by keeping abused mothers safe, children’s safety can be increased.

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“WOW Facts” of Domestic Violence

 

  • In a national survey of more than 6,000 families in the United States, half of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.

 

  • Long-term exposure to battering can result in delinquency, higher rates of substance abuse, propensity to use or tolerate violence in future relationships, and a pessimistic view of the world.

 

  • Short-term effects of children’s exposure to domestic violence can include post-traumatic stress disorder, sleep disturbances, separation anxiety, aggression, passivity, or desensitization to violent events.

 

  • Eighty-five percent of assaults on spouses or ex-spouses are committed by men against women with an estimated 3.3 million children exposed nationally to violence by family members against their mothers or caretakers each year.

 

  • At least 75% of children whose mothers are battered witness the violence.

 

  • In one study, forty-seven percent (47%) of homeless parents reported a history of domestic violence and one in four stated that a primary reason they sought shelter was domestic violence.

 

  • It is estimated that there are 1.35 million homeless children in the US; nearly half of these are under the age of 5.
  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Every day in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

 

  • Ninety-two percent (92%) of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.
  • 63% of all boys who commit murder kill the man who was abusing their mother.

 

Developed by Violence Against Women Online.

 

https://supervisedchildvisits.com/1114/

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7 Highly Effective Principles for Every Successful Business©

 

Business Principle #1: Go to the Top of Your Field With Straight F’s; Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness and Fun—Dave Brown. There is order in every successful business. Keep first things first and the main thing the main thing. Maintaining order opens the pathway to all levels of success.

 

Business Principle #2: You have not because you ask not.  Honor the power of asking. Ask for prosperity, growth, wisdom and expansion in your marketplace. Ask and it shall be given unto you.

 

Business Principle #3: If you have to think about it twice don’t do it once. Place value on inner warnings and caution signs during the process of business deals. They are there to protect, not reject.

 

Business Principle #4: Refuse to fear. Refuse to worry. Refuse to be discouraged. These side affects are deadly to business. When they appear immediately swallow the anecdote: faith, confidence and courage.

 

Business Principle #5: Grow professionally and personally and increase in knowledge and in wisdom. Learn all that you can. Teach what you know. Respect the benefits of ‘application’. The door to learning and understanding must never shut.

 

Business Principle #6: Bad agreements corrupt good business. Avoid entering into agreements for money sake alone. Not all agreements are good agreements. Investigate the character and test the motives of the person offering the opportunity. The health of your business may depend on it.

 

Business Principle #7: Whatever you do, do it all unto the Glory of God. In my humble belief, all good things come from above. Acknowledging the giver of good things is the one principle that will guarantee the success of your business.

 

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Facts & Figures

In 2013, an estimated 1,163,146 violent crimes occurred nationwide, a decrease of 4.4 percent from the 2012 estimate.

• When considering 5- and 10-year trends, the 2013 estimated violent crime total was 12.3 percent below the 2009 level and 14.5 percent below the 2004 level.

• There were an estimated 367.9 violent crimes per 100,000 inhabitants in 2013, a rate that declined 5.1 percent when compared with the 2012 estimated rate.

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* Aggravated assaults accounted for 62.3 percent of violent crimes reported to law enforcement in 2013. Robbery offenses accounted for 29.7 percent of violent crime offenses; rape (legacy definition) accounted for 6.9 percent; and murder accounted for 1.2 percent.

* Information collected regarding types of weapons used in violent crime showed that firearms were used in 69.0 percent of the nation’s murders, 40.0 percent of robberies, and 21.6 percent of aggravated assaults. (Weapons data are not collected for rape.)

U.S. Department of Justice—Federal Bureau of Investigation
Released Fall 2014

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April Is National Child Abuse Month

One thing that many people do not know about abused children is that they often love the person who is hurting them. This is very hard to believe but it is true. This happens because the person who is abusing them is often someone they know well and trust a lot. Children are therefore hesitant to reveal that they are being abused because they fear that they will get the person into trouble if they do so. Another reason for children not wanting to disclose abuse is that many times they have been frightened or threatened by the abuser.

The children in your care love and trust you. A child who has been abused may start talking to you about it. He may do so because he trusts you and wants to share the burden he is carrying with you. Hearing a child talking about being abused is very difficult. You may react in different ways. Your reaction is very important to the child. If you react with disgust or don’t believe what he is saying, he may stop talking to you about it. He will feel that you don’t trust him. This will prevent him from getting help. It also prevents the abuse from stopping.

Be very sensitive and listen carefully when a child is talking to you about abuse. Keep in mind that it is very difficult for the child to talk about being abused. This is especially hard for children who have been sexually abused. The child has gathered up all her courage to tell you about the abuse. How you handle the conversation will determine how you will be able to help the child.

What Should I Do If I Suspect Child Abuse?

Answer

All States have a system to receive and respond to reports of suspected child abuse and neglect. If you suspect a child is being harmed, or has been harmed, you should report your concerns to the appropriate authorities, such as child protective services (CPS), in the State where the child resides. Each State has trained professionals who can evaluate the situation and determine whether help and services are needed. Most States have a toll-free number to call to report suspected child abuse and neglect. Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children’s Bureau, Administration for Children and Families (ACF), provides a list of  State child abuse and neglect reporting numbers and information on how to make a report in each State.

Can I Make An Anonymous Report of Abuse?

Answer

Many states accept anonymous reports of alleged child abuse and neglect. It is important to note, however, that all states are required to preserve the confidentiality of all child maltreatment reports, except in certain limited circumstances: see Disclosure of Confidential Records at: http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/confide… Confidentiality refers to protecting the information from public view, including protecting the identity of the reporter from the person suspected of abuse or neglect.

Reporting suspected child abuse and neglect is everyone’s responsibility. If you have any concerns about the treatment of a child, you should contact the appropriate authorities in the state in which the child resides. Each state has trained professionals who can evaluate the situation and determine whether intervention and services are needed. Most states have a toll-free number to call to report suspected abuse. Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children’s Bureau, provides a related organization list of state child abuse reporting numbers:  https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:….

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How Can You Tell/ Handle It When A Visitation Client Is Lying To You?

In your gut, you think the visitation parent may be lying to you. Your gut isn’t enough to go on, but you shouldn’t discount it either.

Here are simple guiding questions and principles to help address this issue:

a) Is there supporting or contradictory evidence to your suspicions?
b) Stay open and objective to the actual evidence or facts.
c) Determine if the lie matters (i.e. Was the lie about the parents late arrival or an emotionally harmful statement the parent made to the child?
d) Will the lie change potential visitation outcomes?
e) Will the lie have an impact on the child-parent relationship?
f) If the lie can be confirmed and has a negative impact on the visitation, consider implementing L13 of the Uniform Standards of Court 5.20 (allowing a Provider to set additional rules both parties must follow).

4/4/2015

*Post inspired by James Pitman, Ph.D

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Child Pronography Facts

A study funded by Congress shows 99% of child pornography collections have images showing the sexual abuse of very young children. Less than 1% of child pornography collections limit themselves to nude or semi-nude photos, according to the study conducted in 2001:
• 83% contain images of children 6-12 years old,
• 39% had images of children 3-5 years old,
• 19% had images of children younger than 3.
The vast majority of child pornography collections show children being brutally sexually assaulted:
• 80% of collections seized had photos showing sexual penetration, and
• 21% of collections showed images of physical assault and torture.

To view Part I of this video click on the below link.
http://shiftwellness.org/resources/videos/introduction/

For more information about this video, please contact: Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention 810 Seventh Street NW. Washington, DC 20531 202–307–5911

4/4/2015

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2015 Won’t Last Forever…the spirit of The Entrepreneur!

Ready. Get set. GO!

Howz your 2015 going so far? Have you started those New Year Resolutions YET?

Well if by chance you haven’t, here’s your REMINDER…..Dreams without GOALS or Goals with ACTION are just wishes.

That’s the motivation behind this issue. It’s YOUR time. Go for it. 
Has your MIND been thinking about YOUR goals but you don’t seem to be able to go from thought to execution? Perhaps you should think about the execution rather than the goal. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve (orexecute).Thoughts are things! And powerful things at that, when mixed with definiteness of purpose, and burning desire, can be translated into riches.” ~ Napoleon Hill.

You might be surprised at how close you are…how good you are…at having that business, that bakery service, or turning your job experience into that book or e-book online at Amazon.com. Really? Yes, REALLY! Others are making it happen. Why not YOU?

To quote another favorite motivator, Zig Ziglar, “You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” Now don’t let the PP & E plan scare you. It doesn’t have to. Successful people become successful step-by-step. Next year you’ll be a year older; why not be a year older using one of YOUR natural gifts to create a financial future for yourself, your family, your children. I did. That’s why I know YOU can.

Many of you reading this newsletter have had the firm, funny and motivating opportunity of meeting me in one of the Professional Effective Supervised Visitation trainings (and it’s been a delight), but for others, this may be your FIRST time experiencing mespeaking of your entrepreneurial spirit. See, I believe, we don’t just simply wake up one morning and find ourselves successful. Wouldn’t THAT be awesome? No, actually, successful people wake up every day, living every moment, moving towards their desire to BE MORE, DO MORE, and GIVE MORE. But that takes WORK. Success only comes before work in the dictionary.

Some years ago, over 5 yrs to be exact, I walked into my corporate sales training office where I was the #1 sales representative only to be laid-off that same day. Yikes, right? Oooh yeah. I had worked for the training company nearly 9 years and in one hour, it was over. After a few deep breaths and, yes, prayer, I knew I had a choice to make. For me it was, go to work, but for ME this time ’round. So I got started. I took what Ialready knew how to do (sales and training) and made it a business. Now there were plenty of ‘steps’ along the way, a lot of them, but I believed as long as I follow the ‘model’ it would HAVE to work out. I found someone I could imitate (the company that laid me off….LOL) and followed their steps. Do you have anybody you can imitate who IS successful (it could be a big name like Mrs. Fields Cookies, or Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg or….even a neighbor). The point is, find a model and follow it.

Listen, there is NO magic potion, vitamin supplement, or free download… only believing YOU CAN. Believing that you can turn your knowledge, natural gift, or talent into a source of income. It’s POSSIBLE. I’ve met and talked with a lot of you, and I have heard your rich backgrounds (teachers, therapists, health care, foster parent, city employee 10+ years, law enforcement, grad student, and if you’re unemployed, you should be first in line for this). Today is a DIFFERENT day for entrepreneurs. The Internet made this POSSIBLE. Thousandnaire’s (to coin a new phrase) are being birthed every day because people put their ideas, knowledge and experience on the Internet as a service or a product. It is POSSIBLE. I believe it.Do you?

Establish a NEW you

It’s easy to buy a new dress or a new suit so the outside looks successful. Who hasn’t tried that? But therein lies the trouble: While it’s easy to ‘look’ successful outwardly, it’s not so easy to ‘be’ successful inwardly. The secret could mean establishing a NEW you. And then stick to it.

Here are 5 Life Principles to assist in establishing the NEW you:

1. “Stop to Start.” Stop procrastinating and START where you are.  Take control. Move forward, one step at a time. Daily. Stop talking about “some day when” and Start talking as though you ARE already doing ‘it’. No guts, no glory. If you have the guts, eventually you will get the glory.

2. “Have More Faith Than Feeling.” Nobody accomplishes their goals because they ‘feel’ like it. People don’t just wake up and say to themselves, I ‘feel’ like being an entrepreneur today and voila, it happened. If only feelings were required a person could be successful overnight. It’s a strong belief that although you don’t see the results, yet, you have faith that the results are on the way (like small seeds planted last year for this year’s harvest). With the attitude that it’s already happening even though you don’t see all the details, sets you apart from those who first have to ‘see’ to believe.

3. “Good agreements make good partners.” Enter agreements not for money sake but because the agreement is the right fit for you. Don’t compromise values or principles. They’re the main ingredient in success.

4. “Opportunities Lie Within Every Obstacle.” It can be tough to dig deep and find the positive, especially when confronted by challenges. But if you choose the positive, you will find the opportunity and nuggets of wisdom in every obstacle that presents itself in your life. –Jen Groover

 5. “The quality of being there is the process of getting there.” This is where every step comes in. It’s not the quality that matters but the PROCESS. Processmakes quality. In that order. In this New Year, if you will allow yourself to walk through the process of going after what you want and truly commit, plan, prepare and execute, I promise you, you will have results. Successful results. The NEW you will become established. Next time this year, you won’t simply be a year older but older and successful. It’s up to you. Believe you already have what it takes, because You do!

Here’s to a revenue generating 2015!

Tamara L. Daniels

P.S. Upcoming 2015 Professional Visitation
Monitor Trainings 
March 19th-21st
April 23rd-25th
May 14th-16th
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER